Adoption can be a long, difficult process even in the best of circumstances. There's a lot you and your partner need to consider and prepare for, and part of the adoption evaluation process includes finding out more about the family environment that the adopted child would be living in. You don't need to have a huge family, of course, but you do need to ensure that the adopted child isn't going to run into issues with other members.
How Are You Handling Critical Family Members?
You, your partner, and the majority of both your families may be very happy about the impending adoption. But then there's that one relative who might not be on board, and who in fact might become quite rude about adoption. What is your plan for dealing with this person and protecting the adoptee from them? The adoption agency is not going to want to place a child with a family whose member could display less than friendly behavior. But a family that has a plan to give the child a great life and who plans to keep the rude relative away is a different story.
What Do Any Siblings Think of This?
If you already have children, adopted or biological, how do they feel about the impending adoption? Many children are happy and excited, or even if they aren't thrilled about having someone else receiving your attention, they understand and consciously do their best to adjust. Others may worry or even be opposed; how are you handling that situation? Is the child worried that they may no longer have their own room? Are they worried you might force them to babysit? (Don't laugh; not every teen approaches caring for a younger sibling as something fun to do and may worry that you'll expect them to stop seeing friends and instead watch over the child.)
In fact, it's not unusual for adoptive siblings (the children already in the family that's adopting the child) to experience a range of emotions and issues, often stemming from the sudden change in how the parents treat them. Parents are going to be busy helping the newly adopted child adjust, and that can seem on the surface like they're "neglecting" the other children. They're really not, of course, but the perception can still form. Sometimes they can end up parentifying themselves a bit (or the parents can give the siblings the impression that the siblings need to be more like parents to the new child). What is your plan if you see that happening?
Adoption agencies want to know that you've thought about family dynamics and how they'll change and that you've thought about how you'll handle odd or rude remarks. These agencies want to see families grow stronger after adoption, and ensuring the child or children go into the most stable situation possible is essential.
For more information, contact an adoption agency like Adoption Angels.
Share2 February 2022
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